Overheard at the Oasis...

The internet oasis where I am currently mooching off internet, aka my Mediterranean Cafe:

"You mean, you haven't seen the Sarah Palin baby name generator?"

"I think Ann Coulter is hot."
"If you're into men."

Can I not get away from these fucking kinds of discussions, even 1,320 miles from Hillsdale, MI?

I Hate Ike

Shits and giggles, before I lose power:



It's better on record. But it's still the best song about hurricanes ever. Yeah, fuck you, Scorpions! The Black Lips come in a close second.

The Cafe

"On some nights, New York is as hot as Bangkok. The whole continent seems to have moved from its place and slid near the equator..."

-Saul Bellow, The Victim

I'm not in New York, I'm in Houston, so it isn't as much of a stretch to imagine Houston as some foreign oasis like Bangkok or Tangier or Algiers. You know, somewhere foreign but not too foreign. The types of places where it wouldn't be uncommon to see people in turbans and fesses sipping coffee with French or American businessmen.

There's this cafe in Houston that I can go to where I feel like I'm in a foreign country. A place where (thankfully) they don't actually know my name, but they know my face. Even if they did know my name, they speak more naturally in foreign languages (Spanish...Mediterranean at the very least).

It's in this old building that, from the outside, looks like a Mediterranean villa covered with ivy. High bushes surround it, so it's hard to see the people sitting on the other side. You enter the ivy maze, sit down on the side of the building, kind of like a little enclave in an alleyway, and can't see the street outside.

The cars might as well not be there, and I might as well be sitting elsewhere, in some other country somewhere (as if Texas isn't almost one already).

Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-DUH...

I woke up early today to watch the Team USA (the "Redeem Team") play against China (I need to say right now that love Yao Ming for some reason...he looks so goofy and cool at the same time that I can't help but love him).

Much to my pleasant surprise, I found that, for their basketball coverage, NBC has revived the greatest theme song in sports broadcasting history.

I mean, seriously. How can you listen to that theme song and not get excited about basketball? Maybe that's why the NBA sucks so much these days: no NBA on NBC, no theme song, and thus no excitement.

A list of other sweet sports theme songs to follow, when I get the time.

Bloggin'

I've already posted this on the SadBear blog, but for the benefit of those who don't (which begs the question of why to begin with), I'm writing about the Astros for the baseball website Bugs and Cranks. My first post is up right now. So check it out. And the website, too, they have some funny writers.

Showing my age

A distressing incident from this afternoon:

Me (walking into the room): So, the White Sox got Griffey today. Kind of scary...
12-year-old brother: Who?
Me (figuring he didn't hear me the first time): Ken Griffey, Junior.
Him: Who the hell is that?

Has it really come to this? Children not knowing who Ken Griffey, Jr. is until they see a picture of him and maybe recognize him as that one good player on the Reds? I don't know, but to me it's eerie: it was just about ten years ago (when I was his age...) that Griffey was the kind of guy that every kid had a poster of. Or at least a video game of. He was pretty much the guy, along with Sosa and McGwire. But now? Now kids under 15 have no idea who he is.

Maybe I'm naive. Ten years doesn't seem like that long ago, does it? I like to think of myself as a young person. But really, that's false. Young people have Ken Griffey Junior posters on their walls, ones that they took from Sports Illustrated for Kids.

Top Ten Songs About You

(Or, Top Ten Songs in Which the Addressee is Mentioned in the Title)

I love songs like these. For no real reason in particular. I mean, it's very true that many (if not most) songs are about someone specific, about some sort of "you." I just like titles that specifically saw it. Most of the time they are only "Baby" or "Darlin" or "Girl" or even just "You," but they're always directed towards said person. Here's a list:

(Apologies to: "You're My Best Friend," "All I Want is You," "It's All Over, Baby Blue," "A Message To You Rudy," "What's the Frequency, Kenneth?", "I Want You" (She's So Heavy AND Dylan), "I Put A Spell On You," "Hang On To Yourself," "I Got You, Babe," "I Believe In You," and the entire Matchbox 20 album "Yourself Or Someone Like You," among many others.)

10. Morrissey - "You're the One for Me, Fatty"
The first Morrissey song here. A more personal twist on "Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others."
9. Caleb - "Baby Your Phrasing is Bad"
If I could find a sample of this I would post it. It's from Nuggets, so if you can imagine that then you probably get the gist of it. Great title, though, isn't it? Someone anonymous put this song on Rapidshare. I'm not sure who you are but let me know so I can give you props. Everyone should listen to this song now. Supposedly, this guy was Elton John's guitarist later, and Sir Elton is actually rumored to play on the song. I love the phasing (with the "phrasing"...ha!) and the lyrics, while hard to discern, I think go something like this: "Please try to make yourself clear / So that when you talk to me it doesn't strain my ear." Good stuff or what, eh?
8. Tokyo Police Club - "Your English Is Good"
No direct address, per say, like the previous one, but the spirit is still there. This is sort of the opposite twist on it, I guess.
7. Black Flag - "You Bet We've Got Something Against You"
There's a 30 second sound clip that only has the chorus but luckily, the chorus is the best part of the song. It goes, no joke: "You bet that I've got something personal against you!" He doesn't even really sing it, he just kinda says it. I imagine this would be good fighting music.
6. The Magnetic Fields - "Fido, Your Leash Is Too Long"
Maybe the ultimate diss track about an unnamed person.
5. The Smiths - "William, It Was Really Nothing"
The other Morrissey song on the list. Supposedly about a guy named Billy Mackenzie from another British band called The Associates. They, in turn, recorded a response song called "Stephen, You're Really Something." Kinda lame, really.
4. Led Zeppelin - "Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You"
Probably the most famous of all the "Baby, I'm Going To Do Whatever With You" type songs. Also, most assuredly the most cliche title out of all of them. Still iconic, though.
3. The White Stripes - "You're Pretty Good Looking (For A Girl)
You can tell he wants her.
2. The Thirteenth Floor Elevators - "You're Gonna Miss Me"
I love how angry this song is, and I often wonder if the person he was singing about knows who she is. Actually, this would have been number one, if not for the fact that the next one exists...
1. Don Caballero - "Let's Face it Pal, You Didn't Need That Eye Surgery"
It doesn't have any lyrics so it's basically just an awesome title, but still, isn't this the greatest title ever?