The sweater must have unraveled

"Blankets are OK, but they can slip and slide. AND, when you need to reach for something, your hands are trapped inside!"

Here's the thing about Snuggies: At first glance it seems like a truly novel idea. "A blanket! With sleeves! Oh my! I never thought of doing that before!"

But wait. Are these people really saying they've never owned or even seen something known as a "sweatshirt"?

I'dve booed them, too

Say you're a Major League Baseball team. Just say, for the sake of argument, that you were pretty shitty 5 years ago, got better, went to the World Series two years ago and are now a pretty hot team. Say that you make a major trade in the offseason, snagging two world series champions, one of whom happens to be one of the premiere players in the league. Your fans, anticipating a great season with offensive firepower and a dominant rotation, snatch up all the tickets to be had for the first week of the season. Say that one of the teams played this week is one of the worst teams in the league. What would you say you'd do? Would you LOSE EVERY SINGLE GAME IN THAT FIRST WEEK AND MAKE THE ENTIRE TEAM LOOK LIKE LITTLE LEAGUERS?

If that were to happen, hypothetically, how would you expect fans to react to that? Just take it mildly and shrug it off, despite the fact that in only one of these games did the team really look like the team with the second-highest payroll in the league?

No? Good. The Tigers deserved to be booed. The Tigers are making fools not only of themselves but of their fans - everyone who even marginally follows baseball and kind of likes the Tigers. Do you have any idea what I endured tonight? Do you? Tigers fans have been waiting for a team like this since 1984. We've been excited about this season ever since November's trade. This might be the most highly anticipated season in Detroit Tigers history, and what do you do? You catch us all with our pants down, rosy cheeked and blue balls as fans of other teams begin to rail in to us. It's not a good position to be in.

If you have a starting lineup with these kinds of names in it you better score some motherfucking runs. There's absolutely no excuse. What could you say? They keep losing the ball in the sun? The lights? It's colder here than in Florida? I'm not getting paid enough to hit something other than a weak line drive or fly ball? Seriously, I want to know.

The only excuse I can think of is that they aren't trying hard enough, which really isn't an excuse. There is no reason why they should be this bad right now. I think they'll come around, but these past six games aren't exactly confidence builders. If I could right now, I'd punch every single one of them in the face.

Clash (Of London Calling fame, as opposed to the "Of Cultures" fame)

Nick sent me this video the other day:



Aside from the fact that (1) dancing animals always make a normally boring video 100% watchable and (2) the main guy in the video looks like Kevin Barnes if he decided to pose as the Counting Crow(e?)s lead singer for a day, this video was interesting in that it led me to this video:



Which reminded me of this M.I.A. song:



Which ultimatley begs the question: are The Clash a "hip" band again? I mean, granted, they've always been universally recognized by critics and other bands, but by "hip" I mean acceptable enough to appear in rap videos. What's next, Mick Jones laying down a guitar track for the new Wu-Tang album? (Which, come to think of it, would be AWESOME). I guess I'm just curious as to why rappers are sampling them now (this is two in the past maybe 5 months).

I can understand sampling "Straight to Hell," which is ultimatley the best ever slow jam about the Vietnam War. M.I.A. rocks it pretty well.

But whoever the hell this "Lethal Bizzle" fellow is, I'd like to ask him a few things. First, why the hell would you choose "Police on My Back" to rap over? It's gotta be the least rap-able track on Sandanista!. It's really the only straightforward "rock" song on the album. I might have chosen "The Magnificent Seven" "Look Here" or "The Washington Bullets" or any of the numerous dub songs (a particular favorite of mine is "The Equaliser"). But, even more importantly, WHY IS THERE ANOTHER BAND PLAYING THE SONG BEHIND YOU?! the song is obviously a sample. People who know the song will not be fooled into thinking they are actually playing the song with you. And third, aside from the stupid looking token white band playing behind you, could you edit this video any worse than you already have? The dogs in there seem random.

Christ, I think we need to get the RZA and Mick Jones together and drop a new joint post-haste. Prehaps Ghostface can spin a sick verse about his friend who used to cut coke and then got shot over an inspired replaying of "Koka Kola." I'm waiting, Rizz. I'm waiting.